When the Holidays Hurt: Holding Space for Parents Who Lost a Baby

My Holidays Were Marked by Loss

I don’t speak about this from a distance.

I speak about this as a mother who knows exactly what it feels like to lose a baby during the holidays.

In November of 2017, and again in November of 2018, I went into the hospital pregnant, 19 weeks along, believing I would leave with my babies still growing safely inside me. Instead, I left empty-handed. Twice.

I lost my sons.

I remember walking out of the hospital with nothing in my arms, nothing to show for the life I had carried, and nothing that could prepare me for the weight of that moment. The world outside continued as if nothing had happened. Cars drove by. People laughed. Holiday plans were being made.

But my world had stopped.

I had been pregnant. I had loved them. I had planned for them. And suddenly, I was expected to accept that they were gone, and then make decisions no mother should ever have to make in the midst of shock and grief.

One of the most devastating parts of that experience, something no one warned me about, was learning that I would have to pay for cremation services for my babies.

Babies who were innocent.
Babies who were wanted.
Babies who were robbed of life before they ever had a chance to take a breath.

There is something deeply painful about realizing that after enduring labor, loss, and unimaginable heartbreak, you are then handed a bill for saying goodbye. There is no grace period. No emotional buffer. No moment to catch your breath. You are grieving, bleeding, and broken, and still expected to figure out how to afford a farewell.

I remember thinking, How is this real?
How is it possible that a mother who just lost her child now has to worry about money?

Those losses permanently changed how I experience the holidays.

November is no longer just the start of a festive season for me. It is a marker of grief. December is not just about lights and celebration; it is about remembrance. About the sons who should be here. About the babies who were expected to grow, to be held, to be loved in the physical world.

The holidays magnify what is missing.

And I know I am not alone.

Why Hopeful Heart Exists

Those experiences are the reason The Goodwin Family Project’s Hopeful Heart Initiative exists. The Hopeful Heart Initiative was created because no mother should ever have to come home empty-handed and then be burdened with the cost of goodbye. No family should be forced to choose between honoring their baby and surviving financially. No parent should have to navigate burial or cremation arrangements while their heart is shattered.

Pregnancy and infant loss already take so much. Adding financial strain on top of grief is unnecessary and cruel.

Through Hopeful Heart, we help cover burial and cremation services for families who have experienced pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infant loss. We step in during one of the most vulnerable moments of a family’s life so they don’t have to face it alone.

This initiative is not about charity. It is about dignity.
It is about compassion.
It is about ensuring that every baby is honored, and every parent is supported.

The Holidays Make the Pain Louder

Losing a baby is painful at any time, but losing one near the holidays creates a unique kind of ache.

When everyone else is celebrating, grieving parents are surviving. When families are gathering, some parents are isolating. When joy fills the room, absence feels louder.

Holidays are filled with reminders, pregnancy announcements, family photos, children opening gifts, and conversations about the future. For parents who expected to be pregnant, or expected to have their baby alive during this season, those reminders cut deeply.

Grief doesn’t pause for the holidays. Bills don’t pause either.

And that is why this work matters so much, especially now.

A Season to Give, A Season to Hold Space

If you are reading this and you have never experienced pregnancy or infant loss, I ask you to pause for a moment and imagine it. Imagine expecting a baby, then leaving the hospital without one. Imagine the holidays arriving anyway. Imagine being handed a bill when all you want is to grieve.

This holiday season, you have the opportunity to be part of something meaningful.

Your donation to the Hopeful Heart Initiative helps ensure that a grieving family does not have to worry about cremation or burial costs while their heart is breaking. It allows parents to focus on healing, remembrance, and honoring their baby with love and dignity.

Your generosity becomes someone else’s relief.
Your compassion becomes someone else’s support.
Your giving becomes hope in a season that hurts.

To the Parents Who Are Grieving

If you are a parent reading this who has lost a baby, especially during the holidays, I want you to know this:

You are not forgotten.
Your baby mattered.
Your grief is valid.

Coming home empty-handed is a pain that never fully leaves you, but you do not have to carry it alone.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year,

Morgan Goodwin