Experiencing Loss / Monday, October 14th, 2019

Pregnancy Update: For those of you who don’t know why I have had such a hard time carrying my babies, it’s because I have an incompetent cervix. In other words, cervical insufficiency, my cervix can’t hold the weight of my baby during the second trimester of my pregnancy. I was born without this imaginary band that’s suppose to be at the top of my cervix and it’s job is to keep my cervix closed until full-term birth around 37-40 weeks.

Since losing pregnancies with my son and my twin boys, I’ve gotten a transabdominal cerclage (TAC) placed. You can watch my TAC surgery on our Youtube Channel, GoodwinSZN. My recovery was awful for the first three days and got better by day seven. I was walking upright after day four but my incision burned until day seven. However, my incision healed perfectly.

incompetent but hopeful-child loss
My Dr. Haney Transabdominal Cerclage (TAC) Incision

A Brief History of My Past Pregnancies

I am currently 18 weeks pregnant as I write this blog. I loss both of my previous pregnancies in my 19th week. With my first son in 2017 I was told at my 19 week appointment that I only had 1.8cm of cervix closed and I was funneling. I was given a rescue cerclage and a 50/50 chance. Last year with my twin boys, I went in at 18 weeks and was told that I was funneling past my laparoscopic transabdominal cerclage (LapTAC). The funneling caused contractions and baby A’s sac ruptured at 19 weeks. A rollercoaster of events happened after this which resulted in the loss of both of my boys. You can read a detailed blog about my pregnancies losses HERE.

So you can see why these upcoming weeks are very scary for me. I am feeling fine and doing fine as usual for those wondering. I guess some people might believe I have several complications resulting in my losses but my losses were silent. Incompetent cervix creeps up on you and when you find it, it’s mostly always too late. To be clear, I have smooth easy pregnancies with no morning sickness, no pain, no nothing. My losses happened suddenly and there was no way of knowing or preventing my losses even with early or emergency preventions. Point is, I have a very weak cervix.

Thankfully, I was given a lot of hope and confidence from my TAC doctor, Dr. Haney. He has been keeping up with me throughout my pregnancy and he constantly reassures me that everything will be alright. My cervix will not move one bit with my Dr. Haney TAC in place. I just ask that you all continue to pray for me, my husband, and our baby that we may find peace and calmness through these upcoming weeks. I am so happy this go round as my anxiety levels are very low.

Recent Doctor’s Visit

I’ve been having cervical length checks every two weeks. These length checks will continue until my 24th week, followed by monthly ultrasounds and length check up until 36 weeks. Right now, any feeling I have near my cervix causes me to panic a little. But then I have to realize that my God is an awesome God. Thank you Jesus!

I recently went for my anomaly scan at 18 weeks. Good News: My cervix was still closed and as long as it was two weeks before. We got to see our baby again which was a blessing. This mid-pregnancy scan is to insure that our baby is grown properly and has no organ deformities. Our baby looked nice and healthy but we have to go back in a week because our baby decided that he/she wanted to have a field day in my belly; just wouldn’t sit still for the sonographer. In all, our baby is healthy and growing accordingly.

Won’t he do it!

Mrs. Goodwin


  1. Your family is in my prayers. I know your faith is strong and the love you have for him knows no limits. As a fan and a woman who wasn’t able to have her own children, I wish you the miracle of having your own. You will be great parents πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»

  2. Won’t He Do It!!! I’ve been praying and will keep praying for you guys. May God continue to Bless and protect you’ll. You guys are such a beautiful young couple. Stay strong. I just love love and I see it in bth you guys. I got married at 20 , we’ve been married 29 years. Of course it’s hard but so worth it all.

    God Bless

  3. Continued prayers for your precious rainbow baby sent from God! May he perform a miracle and allow you to carry full term. The verse I stood on when I had miscarriages and when my baby was in the NICU was Joshua 1:9 and Philippians 4:13. God’s got you and the baby in the palm of his hand. πŸ™πŸΌβ€οΈ

  4. Good Evening Mrs. Morgan,
    I am keeping you in my prayers that you have a healthy fullterm smooth pregnancy and also a smooth easy no complicated delivery, God bless you and you family…..you got this Morgan…keep the faith, GOD IS GOOD!!!! So happy for you and your husband πŸ™β€οΈ

  5. Praying that god be with you both through your journey with a beautiful blessing.I love watching your YouTube channel.I’m from Texas.I love both of you .❀

  6. Praying praying praying for you and you healthy baby. May God give you the family you deserve. I love watching you guys even though I am a diehard Texans fan. But I support Great people.

  7. I am so happy for the Goodwin family!!! I pray and have faith that everything will happen according to plan.

    From experience, I can tell you that there will always be that bit of doubt/nervousness after losing a pregnancy, when you go in for a checkup. Just trust the powers above and by the sound of it, you have the best doctors working with you!!

    Love that you are sharing your painful, difficult, and beautiful journey ❀️❀️

  8. I thank God for helping you get through this. I’m praying for you a healthy and safe pregnancy. It’s only up from here. πŸ™πŸ½

  9. I thank God for helping you get through this. I’m praying for you a healthy and safe pregnancy. It’s only up from here. πŸ™πŸ½ I can’t say that I understand your fear but just know God makes no mistakes. You got this!

  10. Continuing my prayer for you guys. Morgan never get weary in well doing even during this 18 week stage, continue to trust God through this process. Continue to thank God for your blessed, healty full term delivery of baby Goodwin.
    In Jesus name!

  11. Morgan,

    You are such a strong woman and I cannot wait to see your little baby come out into this world. Sending my prayers for a healthy delivery.

  12. Mrs Goodwin..
    You are such a woman of God. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I will be praying for you, your pregnancy, and your baby. October is such a hard month, with it being pregnancy/infant loss awareness. Both my sisters lost there sons during pregnancy. One at 16 weeks, and the other at 27 weeks.
    Many many blessings to you and your family.


  14. I’m so happy for you that everything is going well , I will pray for you and baby! I feel the same as you do because I also suffer from incompetent cervix I almost lost my son at 19 weeks but with a rescue cerclage I was able to hold him until 24 weeks that’s when he was born thank God he is almost 5 and doing great he is my miracle baby ! In 2017 I lost my angel baby at 17 weeks and I had a McDonald cerclage but lost it !
    Wish you the best for you and family will have you in my prayers πŸ™πŸΌ

  15. Omg. I’m so excited for you guys. I have enjoyed reading your testimonials. Our God is awesome and He is going to give you the desires of your heart.. you are doing a wonderful job

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